


When she wakes up

by MagicMiss



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Annie wants it too but she's in love, F/F, He just wants the mission to end, How Annie and Mikasa's relationship played out in canon, Kinda, One-Shot, Reiner is a dick, cute moment at the beginning tho, trying to stick to canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 18:37:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21020411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicMiss/pseuds/MagicMiss
Summary: A look at Annie and Mikasa relationship and how both cried when Annie understood they weren't made for each other.





	When she wakes up

The first time Annie wake up by her side, she saw her eyes. She loved them, they were beautiful and so soft. She could guess through them that she wasn’t just obsessed with Eren, that she still had love and places in her heart.

She took between her hands Mikasa’s face and kissed her, pushing her back in the bed for cuddles. Training could wait. 

Mikasa was more sensible that she showed it. Annie discovered it when she saw her worried for a friend, nor Eren nor Armin, who didn’t come back from the expedition with his team. He was probably lost Annie thought, she didn’t cared that much to be honest. 

Jean wasn’t someone she appreciated enough to fake compassion. For some reasons tho, Mikasa did found friendship in him. When he finally arrived, an ankle broken, Mikasa went back at her ‘cold’ self. 

Annie found it interesting, and lovely, how she was always trying to be strong and insensible when in reality she cared deeply for people. 

“How come you spent so much time with that brute ?” Asked once Reiner to Annie. Berthold was besides him, sweating as always. “She’s an  _ Ackerman _ . Ya know what that means even if she don’t. She’s dangerous, Annie.” 

Annie wanted to punch him, to throw him away and to make him apologize but he was right. The mission, their goal, was a priority. Her own father was waiting for her, alone after her mother died years ago. But she couldn’t leave the woman. She loved her. 

“I’m trying to gain informations. She’s- She’s also an asian. The memories of her ancestors hasn’t been erased, maybe they taught her something !” She lied. 

Reiner shrugged, barely convinced. But Berthold knew, and understood. Life was hard for men and women who weren’t like the other in Marley, for some reasons tho, in Paradise, they were more open to that kind of relationship. 

“Be careful. She  _ is _ dangerous.” Said again Reiner before leaving. 

One day, out of the blue while she was brushing her black hair, she asked to Mikasa where her parents were. The woman stopped breathing a second, then told her. Annie was horrified, but her face didn’t show it. 

“They were devils.” She whispered, angry. “They were the one worthy of death. Not your parents.” Nor your race, Annie wanted to add. 

The night before graduation they talked. Behind one of the girls’ barrack, they saw each other for the last time. Mikasa was going to the survey corps, no matter what Annie could say to her. It made her so angry and frustrated she punched a hole in a wall in front of her girlfriend. 

“This will leave a nasty scar, Annie.” The black haired girl took her bleeding hand in her. “Why must you always be so mean to your body ? Last time if I hadn’t saved you, you would have ended up with a broken neck.”

Annie wanted to laugh. If only she knew… But if she knew, Mikasa would probably kill her. The titans destroyed her new life, her new mother. Annie was barely able to weight all of her sin on her back and if the woman she loved so much started to look at her with hatred in her beautiful eyes, she would die. 

“That’s why you must stay with me, ahah.” She tried herself at a laugh but it was so soft Mikasa nearly heard it. “I need you. I love you.”

“I love you too, but i can’t go in the military. I need to be there for Eren.” 

“He will be fine without you. He’s not ten.”

“You know he’ll kill himself trying to kill a titan without me.” She kissed her hand and Annie genuinely smiled. 

“If I was as reckless as him, would you stay with me ?” It was a genuine question, but Mikasa went angry. 

“Why you have to do that ? Why do you have to make me choose between him and you !?” She dropped her hand, frowning her eyebrows. “I won’t go to the military, Annie. The king don’t even like my  _ race _ ! I told you my family was persecuted ! I want nothing from the higher-up.”

“I’m not- I’m not trying to force you into anything ! I just want you safe !!” Annie’s blood rose up. Mikasa could be so stubborn. “You’re talking about joining the survey corps ! And Eren is just the cherry on the top. Don’t get me started about this dumbass.” 

“I won’t die. I’m strong enough.” She was cold and sharp, almost mean. 

“But what if you die trying to save him !? Or what if your equipment is broken !? And if some idiot push you while your flying ? Mikasa, I’m not worried about your capacities but about other’s, Mika !”

She looked saddened. 

“We can’t do anything if we don’t trust other.” 

“But why should we do anything ? The outside world is so dangerous. It’s full of titans.” Among other things. “Why fighting ? Just live your life and happy.”

“I won’t be able to be live and be happy if everyone die, Annie.”

Annie understood, but hated it. She wanted to scream and punch things, to jump and to bang her fists against hard surface, just so she could feel pain, again and again, to the point of tears, to feel the physical pain instead of that  _ kind _ of pain. 

“You’ll die.” I’ll have to fight you. You’ll fight Reiner and Berthold, you’ll try to kill them and I’ll have to protect them for the sake of our mission. And I know I won’t be able to. 

“Only if we do nothing.” 

They stayed still, silent, blocking their tears. Close, but apart, their bodies used to each other were as strangers right now. If Annie touched her, she would cringe away. If Mikasa tried to kiss her, she would turn away her head.

“I’ll go to the military tomorrow.” Annie said. “We’ll never see each other again. Are those ours farewell to each other ? A dispute ? Tears ?” Her voice was cracking down. “I don’t regret what I said, but I regret it made you mad.” 

“I love you.” Whispered Mikasa. “Farewell my love.” 

And she left. 

She was so angry after this that she agreed with Berthold and Reiner’s plan to kick the wall once again. “They’re devils. Let them perish.” And thus, she saw them die. She saw her from afar killing titans, saving trainees and people and she regretted her choice. But her life was made of regret so what could another one do ? Oh, it made her suffer. Like hell. Like a burning and poisoning hell. “Where is Eren ?” He was dead. When Armin screamed his name, her eyes went blank, she died from the inside and it was Annie’s fault. She almost let tears run on her face. Mikasa didn’t lost time to insult everybody, she went after them, calling them coward, as they were and fall back head first into hell. She wanted to chase her, but Reiner was looking at her. Annie couldn’t do it. She knew it was over. It should be over, no matter what happen, no matter the glances they exchange from time to time. 

  
  


After Erwin Smith’s speech, Annie knew Mikasa didn’t looked back. Loving her was her most beautiful and yet painfully happy mistake. If only she hadn’t be an abomination, a ruthless murderer. 

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
